When our kids were little our prayer lists were pretty basic: for a child to sleep through the night, for wisdom in how to handle sibling rivalry, and as they became teens we prayed like crazy for their relationships with the opposite sex, for clarity about college or jobs, etc. Day in and day out we were pretty tuned into their needs. They were obvious because they were under our roof!

But now their needs aren’t so obvious. We can’t know their normal daily stresses. We don’t know their concerns, or even what a typical day is like in their life. And we don’t know the people they interact with on a regular basis. Often we try to pray but our prayers seem so general. We feel out of the loop! We long to know more of the details of their lives and we want to be able to pray more specifically for them.

Every year we try to gather all five of our kids and spouses and grandkids together for a family reunion. After we put the little ones to bed we have adult dinners with the twelve of us adults. During this time we take turns updating each other. What have been some of the highs of the last year for you? Some of the challenges? What are some things you’d like prayer for in the coming year? After each couple shares, we take a few minutes to pray for them. This gives us an opportunity to get deeper into each other’s lives. (It’s hard to finish a sentence with toddlers all around!) It also helps our children to become better connected to one another since they are spread out all across the country. Sharing in this way works regardless of a person’s faith. Even a questioning child appreciates someone praying for her concerns.

The past few days John and I have taken the things shared at our family time and spent a bit more time talking about each of our ten children (includes spouses!) and adding to our prayer lists special things that we want to pray for them for the coming year. This is our private parents’ list and it helps to brainstorm together because we have different perspectives. What a privilege to have the opportunity to pray specifically for our children and grandchildren. It’s one of the most important things we can do during these empty nest years.